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As you read this I am on vacation! But of course obviously you are reading this so how is that possible? Welcome to the miracle of scheduled posts. You’ll be seeing pre-written stuff for a few.

I am super excited but also anxious about keeping kids entertained on the way to and from Florida and also nights at the hotel. Family trips can be a great experience or a source of extreme stress. They can be fun, educational and rewarding too. Without planning, however, the family road trip could turn into a nightmare. Kids get restless and irritable when boredom sets in and the next thing you know you have a battle going on in the back seat.

I have been getting creative lately in preparation. Here are some of things I have planned.

DVDs - I know…I am sooo bad but oh well. We have a DVD player attached to the roof of our car so the actual trip will be a breeze. We also have a portable DVD player for the hotel room.

Coloring - This is an all time favorite activity for all 3 of my kids but I don’t want to lug around tons of crayons or crayon boxes so we are using our homemade crayon rolls. They each hold a dozen crayons or more and they roll up very small. These are perfect for restaurant and hotel entertainment.

Peak-A-Boo Bags (also called I-Spy Bags) - My kids really like these. They are little fabric bags with a see-through window that contain a filler material (ours has rice) and several little trinkets that you need to find like buttons, bells, paper clips, dice and other little items you would likely find at a craft store like a mini baseball or a snowflake. The one we have has a card attached to you can cross all the items off as you find them. They are really fun. We get ours from my friend Deb at Made by Mama. She rocks!

Games:
Slugbug - You look for Volkswagen beetles and yell Slug bug when you find them. Kids love this game. You are supposed to hit the person next to you when you find them but we leave that part out.

Create a Story - Create a story while traveling from the names on highway signs and billboards. The first player picks a name off a sign and begins telling a story using the name in the sentence. After each sentence the next player goes picking his name and adding a sentence to the story and continuing back to each player until the story is done.

My Road Trip Journal - Prepare a backpack for each child with notebooks, sketchpads, markers, crayons, sticker, scissors, and paste. The children can keep an account of the trip. They can write down events, draw pictures of things seen, and paste collected items such leaves, pamphlets, and colorful stones into the journal. Pictures from the trip can later be added to their journals.

Books and Quizzes - Kids love to guess. Pack plenty of puzzle and word fill books, flash cards and easy trivia games and the children will be occupied for hours.

Listening Music and Stories - Kids of all ages love stories. Books on CD’s can be borrowed at the library to bring on the trip. Add to the list music CD’s; family sing-a-long songs are great fun. I am taking my iPod and car adapter so we have plenty of all the above for mom and kids.

Bring along lots of snacks and drinks to prevent whining when hunger pangs strike. We have trail mix, dehydrated fruit, beef jerky, Horizon milk cartons, and Larabars for the road.

Allow time to stop every two or three hours for the bathroom, meals or just to let the kids run for a while. A family road trip does not have to be a disaster. Plan wisely and the road trip will be a pleasurable experience…I so I am saying now…I will let you know later…when I am really here cause right now I am not.

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One of the most frequent questions I get from readers is “How can I raise my kids to be green?’ This is a good question but I think it is more important to think beyond the concept of ”going green”. More is required. They need to think about the world ”community” and how it is impacted by the decisions we make. There is a popular saying that “kids won’t protect what they do not love”. We need to raise kids that have a nurturing character and a compassionate heart.

It all starts with teaching them to love and care about themselves, the world around them, and the other people that reside upon it. What we need are kids who can be leaders, heroes, and pioneers. Kids who will realize the importance of community and that it extends beyond themselves to all the people around them and all the organisms around them. So how do we teach kids to care about themselves, the planet, and each other?

Well, if I knew the exact formula I would be on Dr. Phil right now. I have a few ideas though and I would LOVE to hear some of your in the comments. I might “think” I am doing a good job now but my kids are still very young. There is nothing like a community banding together to discuss the needs of the community and we are a community of compassionate mamas here right?

Teaching our children to understand what it can be like to live in someone else’s shoes is an excellent way to introduce children to the whole notion of caring for others and the world around them.

Whether it’s a stray kitten abandoned by its mother, an old man begging for change on the street, or a Habitat for Humanity family that doesn’t have a home… how we observe the situation and share our thoughts with our children will go a long way in teaching them to be compassionate human beings. Don’t just expect them to develop compassion and empathy, model it for them daily.

People who don’t care about other people or the environment have a negative impact in our communities that can be seen.  Whether it’s garbage on the ground or the shrieks of children who’ve been bullied in the schoolyard, the impact of uncaring and insensitive people is around us.  It’s a behavior that we don’t want to see in our children and that we can counter by teaching our children to be people “who care.”

As parents, we want our children to appreciate the good things in their lives and to be cognizant of their role in this world as a contributing human being. This is one reason I really like the ideas I spoke of in my green birthdays post: 

 I read about a woman that orchestrated a puppy-themed party for her child to benefit a local animal shelter. She made dog-bone shaped oatmeal cookies for snacks and In lieu of birthday gifts, guests brought donations, dog food, leashes, water bowls and toys for the abandoned animals. All the kids and especially the birthday boy LOVED it and the animal shelter brought puppies for the kids to play with. I also read about an Africa-themed party, where kids built a grass hut and collected donations for African children. These parties were fun and they taught the guests a valuable lesson about helping others.”

I love these ideas because they demonstrate how we can use our blessings in life to make a difference in the lives of others and they make it fun, which we all know is important. Opportunities like these teach our children that getting is great but giving is even better. It gives them an opportunity to be empathetic and caring and to make a difference. When they start getting a regular taste of that, they will be hooked.

Visit your local Humane Society and ask if there are volunteer opportunities for your child/children.  Your child might be able to be registered as a dog walker for the society. Humane societies are often in need of old newspapers, paper shredder scraps and towels for pet care. Suggest your child collect this material for donation to your local Humane Society.

Giving service to others is a wonderful way to teach children about compassion and action.  There are many ways to get children involved that are sensitive to the needs of those receiving support and to the safety and well being of your young volunteers!

Select a family shelter or children’s services center in your region and find out if they would be willing to accept children’s snack packages put together by your child and their friends or siblings.  You and your kids can purchase healthy snacks like granola bars, dried fruit and crackers.  Package these items into small lunch bags that are decorated in any way your children choose.

Encourage your kids to decorate these snack bags in a way that would appeal to them since many of the children who may receive these bags will be the same ages as your kids. If they can , allow your kids to spend some time there and get to know the children and why they are there.

Volunteer as a family at soup kitchens, community clean ups, and other charitable events. Caring children learn to be that way when they are shown compassion and care in the home and when a parent takes the time to teach them their role as stewards of our world.

And how exactly does one encourage compassion for the planet. Well there are numerous ways:

Introduce your children to the concept of what we do with garbage and where it goes when it leaves the curb so that they might think twice about how they discard items, especially recyclable ones. Kids should be informed that our garbage can hurt us. Our habits can be harmful to our one home.

This week my 4 year old daughter had questions about this after seeing the cover art on the 11th Hour DVD case. I remember her concerned face when she asked about why there was big foot stepping on our earth and crushing it.

Another “garbage” related learning opportunity is created through composting.  Create a compost pile in your yard or kitchen and involve the kids in the task of ensuring that organic waste like food scraps are placed in the compost.  Observe over the weeks as the compost becomes rich soil conditioner for the garden. This process is good for them to see and provides a basis of understanding when you teach them about non-recyclable items that don’t “return to the earth”.

Teach your kids about the products that pollute our environment like our cars and get into the habit of walking, using mass transit, or riding a bike to destinations, whenever possible.  Energy conservation is also a lesson they can learn about. My 4 year old already makes sure to turn off all electrical appliances to “save the power”.

When you are outside with your children take the time to highlight the beauty of the natural world around them. Encourage the kids to sniff the unique scents of spring, summer, and fall. Create a whimsical children’s garden for their enjoyment. Above all let them get out and get dirty and ENJOY nature. Help them build a fort, a sunflower house, or even a teepee so they can create an outdoor haven just for them. Read The Dangerous Book for Boys or The Daring Book for Girls with them and show them how fun outdoor play can be. If you don’t live in area where they can get outdoors and enjoy themselves make sure to plan regular trips to parks, lakes, nature conservatories, and wildlife preserves. They need to love it or they won’t have it in their heart to protect it.

With these tips, your children will learn to not only embrace nature but will grow into adults that will respect the environment because they know, understand and appreciate what is at stake.  They will recognize their responsibility to be conscious inhabitants of earth who respect the grandeur and balance of nature. 

In closing I thought I would share a couple things we did in my family this week.

First we did a homeschool project where we created a tree community. I wrote out instructions for it here. But here is the basic idea: 

* Draw or trace a big tree (without leaves) on the paper, poster board, or a white board.

* Tell children that a tree is a community just like the one we live in. It has life and activity. Ask them what kinds of things they might see in a tree, such as nuts, flowers, sap, fruit, seeds, birds, squirrels, insects, spider webs, a bee hive, a nest, and leaves. Write them out on the board.

* Invite children to paint or color it, adding all of the elements they have decided belong to the tree “community”.

* Discuss what would happen if the tree were cut down or otherwise harmed and how the tree’s community would fare. Also discuss how “we” would be affected.

I like this project because they can see how our everything is intertwined and the actions of one can affect everyone. It also shows them our eco system is a living thing, just like a community of people and it can suffer and be harmed…just like people can.

To make it easier to discuss the earth as a whole and all of the other people and places it is helpful to have a globe on hand. My kids love to use ours. We also have an awesome toy designed to help kids appreciate the planet and “hug” it from Peace Toys. It is a huggable earth pillow and it has won several awards. Just place on the family couch or on the bed for easy hands on reference. We love it here, me included. We usually cuddle up on the couch with it and read.

Second, we “planted” a tree in our playroom/homeschool room. Actually we got a cutout tree at a homeschool supply store but we are really enjoying it. I put up the tree and I put hook and loop sticky tabs on it to attach the leaves. On the leaves we wrote things we can do to be kind to our planet…aka plant a tree, reusable bags, turn off the lights, donate to an eco charity, etc. We can either leave them up there as a reminder or take them all down every month and then put them up one at a time as we put them into action. That way we can measure how we are doing. You could also extend this to include some activities designed to show love for the community and other people as well.

Some pictures are below.

So as you can see, I think going green is just one part of a larger issue. We need kids with character and integrity that care about the whole world around them…human and non human. We need some heroes and pioneers because the children really are our future. I have met some amazing moms via the Internet community (and this blog) and I am really encouraged that many moms are seeing the importance of this and are raising kids who care.

Before I go I encourage you leave me a comment and share your ideas and tips. We can all learn from each other.

Also you might want to check out the following awesome book: Teaching Kids to Care

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I recently had the pleasure of reading The Green Parent by Jenn Savedge. This is one of the few books out there aimed directly at parents and how to raise kids that appreciate and understand eco friendly living. The size of the book is small but it is jammed packed with good information and tips of greener living for families.

I really like the format. It would briefly explain why we need to be concerned about various environmental threats and then it was long on suggestions for what you can do in your home and there were quite a few ideas I had never thought of. I have read MANY green theme books and this one kept my interest and was enjoyable to read.

It really takes you on a home and life tour and goes over all the ways you can make changes from water usage to home renovation materials and eco vacations. It really covered a large number of topics all the while showing how we can gets kids enthusiastic about these practices too.  Fun activities such as how to start a “light patrol,” how to make a “waste-free” school lunch, and how to build a “green” bird house will help kids start to understand how important a green lifestyle is. The charts in the book where also very helpful for quick reference. I also loved the interviews with various green living experts.

For families looking for a good introduction and a clear idea of how to “go green” this is your best bet…very easy to read and very motivating.  It is short on long and windy speeches and long on good and useful tips. Green parents want to raise green kids…

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ADHD stands for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. ADD stands for Attention Deficit Disorder. This neurobehavioral developmental disorder (ADHD) affects about 3-5% of the world’s population under the age of 19.  It becomes evident during early childhood.  Children with ADHD are usually inattentive and/or hyperactive.  They sometimes have difficulty remembering things and can have poor control over their impulses.

Of course there is a segment of people that feel ADD/ADHD is a myth and label given to overly active but otherwise normal children. There are many doctors and parents who feel that ADD and ADHD behaviors could be caused by environmental factors (vaccines, pesticide and chemical exposure) poor nutrition (insufficient intake of vitamins and minerals, food coloring) or even allergies (intolerance to dairy or wheat for example). Social, emotional, and educational influences could also play a part. If the causes of ADHD and ADD are environmental or social then using drugs to “treat” them would be merely masking the symptoms and not getting to the root of the problem.

Much has been written about the unhealthy side affects associated with the use of one of the more popular medicine’s prescribed for ADHD children – Ritalin (methylphenidate) or Dexedrine (dextroamphetamine).  Not all children react well to these medications. Some react in some pretty terrible ways though. I have a relative that was on Ritalin and it caused huge bursts of anger and physical violence. My own son was on an anti-seizure medication for a couple years that is also used by some Doctors as a medication for ADD. Side effects for my son were drastic weight loss, gray coloring, and he used to scratch his arms until they were a mass of bloody scabs.  

The nasty side effects as well as the possibility that the drugs mask the problem and do not treat it have left MANY parents scrambling for natural alternatives. There are some natural medications that can be suggested. Of course any changes to your child’s treatment (if he or she is being treated for ADD or ADHD) should be discussed with your health professional first. 

St. John’sWort (Klamath weed) is said to have properties that can help with the symptoms of ADHD.  It was first used in ancient Greece to treat many ailments, including poisonous reptile bites.  The active ingredient in St. John’sWort is hypericin and dianathrones and flavonoids.  Research shows that St. John’s Wart acts as an anti-depressant in the body. 

Fresh Lemon Balm or Melissa officinals is an aromatic herb with a lemony taste.  In traditional medicine it was considered a cure-all for various conditions including nervous problems.  This natural remedy has had a long history with families affected by ADHD. It is felt to have a particularly positive effect on hyperactive children.

Melotone Syrup is a natural substance promoted mostly throughout the internet as a “natural alternative to Ritalin.”  It is essentially a liquid nutritional supplement that has Omega-3s (which are the good fats) the form of salmon oil and evening primrose oil.  It also includes several vitamins and minerals that have been found to be low in ADHD children (magnesium, B6 and others).

Super Blue Green Algae is what is a considered a super food.  It is one of the most nutrient dense foods on the earth and apparently there is nothing else like it.  There have been two studies done using algae to research its effects on children who struggle with learning, social and behavioral problems.  The Center for Family Wellness Study examined whether or not the addition of Algae to children’s diet would help alleviate these behavioral challenges.  Based on their reports, it was concluded that eating Algae appeared to have had a notable positive outcome in those areas where parents were concerned about behavioral extremes or challenges.

The other study, the Sierra Vista Study showed early indications that Algae eaters demonstrated significant improvement in their behaviors. Slip some Super Blue Green Algae inside a smoothie and you have a superfood smoothie sure to help give your kids a brain power boost.

Ultimately alternative options for treatment can focus on making simple changes in diet, sleep, exercise and routine.  The Feingold Diet is praised by many parents of children with the an ADD/ADHD diagnosis. It eliminates certain foods that hyperactive children might be sensitive too and in general it is a diet without preservatives, additives, or food coloring. I am a big believer in the Feingold Diet as all three of my kids are at their best when on a diet like this one. Giving kids junk food and other nutritionally void foods and then expecting good behavior is unrealistic. The brain needs REAL food to function properly so parents of hyperactive children need to make sure they aren’t “stacking the deck” against their child with an unsatisfactory diet. In fact, I can’t fathom why ANY parent would medicate before diet is fully evaluated and adjusted first.

The materials for the Feingold Diet are pretty pricey but they are well worth it. If you can’t swing it though there is an awesome Feingold Diet cookbook that you can buy. Ben Feingold also wrote a book called Why Your Child is Hyperactive.

The book The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood by Dr. Sears has some great recipes and nutrition ideas too for foods that feed the brain and help kids perform their best. Read my review here.

Don’t underestimate the value of good old fashioned exercise too. Hyperactivity could be a manifestation of boredom and restlessness. Kids need activity and exercise.

Supplements may help too. Fish and flax seed oils are rich in Omega-3s. Greens powders can be slipped inside fruit smoothies to help kids get more nutrition from those all important leafy green veggies. I am also a fan of the whole food multis called purple pops and green pops. The purple pops are loaded with berries and other fruits, metabolic boosters, digestive enzymes, and probiotics and the greens are loaded with vegetables and food herbs, antioxidants, digestive enzymes, and probiotics.

Do you have any tips or ideas that you can share about treating ADD and ADHD naturally?

Natural and homeopathic remedies try to address the unbalance in the body without the side effects of sedation.  The goal of these remedies is to improve the balance and health of the whole child – mind and body.  

Books worth reading:

The Myth of the ADD Child

The Out of Sync Child

Screamfree Parenting

Technorati Tags: ADHD, ADD, children, drugs, homeopathic, Ritalin

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There is an excellent article in Mothering magazine this month. I was reading my online copy last night and I have to say I relate deeply to the article on “Being a Parenting Original”. I have often times been made to feel that I my methods of parenting are kind of kooky and bizarre. I have been relegated to that alternative group often referred to as hippie, crunchy, granola, or in some cases just plain weird. I am a true parenting original and yes in the beginning it was hard to feel different but now my confidence in my choices is solid and strong and I am proud to go against the grain.

The well meaning advice and thoughts of naysayers just don’t bother me anymore…well, okay sometimes they do…like when they insinuate that my choices on vaccines or positive discipline border on child abuse or neglect…then I have a few choice words to say. But usually I just ignore the negatives because I know that all of the research I do, all of the intense examination, and all of the effort that I put into be the BEST mom that I can be and making the BEST choices I can for my children is usually far and away more than that of the naysayers.

I have to admit that when I had my first child I was not much of an “original” parent. I didn’t question anything…I just went with the conventional and mainstream. But when I got pregnant with my second child, everything changed. I decided to use cloth diapers even when my own mom thought I was off my rocker. I quit my job so that I could exclusively breastfeed. I breastfed shamelessly in public places. I decided that co-sleeping was the best arrangement for us. My kids were attached to my hip with a sling and I never let them CIO (cry-it-out), if they cried…I held them…always. I made by own baby food and delayed solids. We started drinking raw milk. I started sewing clothes and cloth diapers after ten years of neglecting my sewing skills. I decided to refuse all vaccinations and forgo those unnecessary “Well Visits”.

And yes I had to deal with those who found reason to criticise these things. Well meaning friends and relatives thought cloth diapering and my refusal to birth with drugs was martyrdom, they thought refusing vaccinations was neglectful, and that extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping were indulgences that would raise spoiled brats. Positive discipline was sparing the rod and was actually a form of un-parenting. Eating organic was throwing my money away. And living “green” was buying into politically motivated hysteria. My attention to eliminating all the toxics in our home and life is considered by many to be hysteria too. My latest decision to homeschool has met with some rolled eyes and references to my being unqualified to teach. I also get a fair amount of nasty comments on this blog from people who question my choices.

If I listened to all this criticism I might surely think I was up for the worst parent of the year award right? A sad but true fact is that many moms like to criticise other moms. I guess it makes them feel better about their own choices. But I like what Kelly Dinocia had to say in that Mothering article…

I knew that one day our healthy, intelligent, kind, and well adjusted daughter would silence the critics.

Yes, I have faith and confidence in my parenting decisions. I didn’t come to them lightly and I know I am doing what is best for my children. But what do you do in the meantime?

*Find a supportive doctor that agrees with or at least supports your decisions to extended breastfeed, not to vaccinate, and not to medicate unnecessarily.

* Join groups of like minded parents. Le Leche League, API International, and the Holistic Moms Network all come to mind but there might also be small local groups for you to join too. Do a yahoo groups search for attachment parents, homeschoolers, etc. There are plenty of other parents out there just like you…so hang out with them.

* Keep doing your research. Keep reading books and the latest studies about the the benefits of breastfeeding and co-sleeping, the danger of vaccines, the rewards of homeschooling, positive parenting, etc. One of the biggest confidence builders is to keep having your choices reaffirmed and trust me they are are constantly reaffirmed…even if mainstream parents choose to ignore this.

* Get used to being different! Be compassionate about why others see things as they do but you can be respectful AND stand your ground. You KNOW that you are making the right decisions…just trust your mommy instincts. And trust me your complete confidence in your choices will make others start to second guess themselves. You’re an original baby…be loud and proud!

So what about you? Are you an “original” parent? Do you constantly run into naysayers? Are you one of the naysayers?

As soon as you can say what you think and not what some other person has thought for you, you are on the way to being a remarkable man. — James M. Barrie

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Last night my hubby and I watched Supernanny. Yes, we do watch a little of TV and I actually really like the show Supernanny….I think Jo Frost (aka the nanny) has some awesome ideas about parenting peacefully. Of course now I risk the lambasting I got last time I mentioned a TV show…when I got a seething email from a reader who said she couldn’t read the blog of a loathsome TV watcher.

So….I was quite upset by the show last night. The parents on the show were predictably clueless as is normal for the show but these parents we cruel too. I was shocked when the father screamed at his two year old and hit him in the head with a fork. I was irked when the mother let her five year old leave the home unattended without even bothering to check to see where he went. I was saddened to see the boys play video games that were marked M for Mature and which made recreation of murder and crime. I was about ready to strangle that mom though when she decided to make her oldest son eat liquid soap after he said “butt crack”. She made him open his mouth and he got a squirt of liquid soap, right down his throat.

Now mind you they allow these boys to play video games were swearing is commonplace and they even swear at their boys but saying butt crack I guess is an offense worthy of drinking poison I guess. I could not believe it.

Liquid soaps have so many chemicals in them it is outrageous…especially the antibacterial varieties. I just can’t fathom making a child consume chemicals as punishment for anything. The Supernanny also couldn’t believe it and she asked the mom rhetorically “Are you insane?!” She also implied that punishing a child in such a way expresses a conditional love. Jo also offered some of the soap to mom…because surely if she would have her kids eat soap then she wouldn’t have an issue with eating it to.

Well, the mom bugged out, said she didn’t see what the big deal was and stormed out of the house. She has some nasty things to say about Jo and didn’t want to continue the show. She also refused to eat the soap herself, saying “it’s not alright for me”. They did finish the show but you could see that things were strained and tense from that point on. I felt horrible for those boys after the show.

I know the “washing of the mouth” with soap thing was a popular parenting technique of long ago and perhaps I would not have had such an issue if it were relatively non-toxic bar soap but liquid soap??

Personally I wouldn’t do it. For one thing liquid soap is chock full of dangerous chemicals and kids have no business ingesting it. Second, I find that I don’t like to deal with kids in a manner that I cannot be proud of. If I can’t or won’t treat an adult in a certain manner (hitting them, slapping them, forcing them to eat soap) then I won’t treat a child that way either. In my family the principle of equality is very important. The thoughts, feelings, and needs of each individual (parent or child) is equally valued and equally considered. Golden rule parenting dictates that I give the respect I hope to get back.

My hubby on the other hand was not so mortified by the soap incident. Until I mentioned the chemicals in liquid soap he didn’t bat an eye. What are your thoughts?

Technorati Tags: Supernanny, soap in mouth, parenting, discipline

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