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Remember my post awhile back about toxic nail polish and my search for something better for my daughter. Some of the ingredients of conventional nail polish are scary…Dibutyl Phthalate (DBP), formaldehyde and toluene so of course I hesitated to let my daughter polish her nails. But I did find many safe options and just stumbled upon another this weekend, Piggy Paints! They are non-toxic, odorless, and very kid friendly. Their slogan is “natural as mud”.

They use natural ingredients that dry to a hard, durable finish. There are no toxic chemicals; it’s free of formaldehyde, toluene, phthalates, biphenyl A, ethyl acetate and acetone. They also have a safe nail polish remover.

Piggy Paints are a big hit with my daughter. The nail polish dries pretty quickly (1-2 minutes) with a blow dryer and the color is very vibrant and pretty. I love the suggestions on the piggy paints site for distracting young kids while their nails dry too. While I got my camera my own daughter gave herself a blue eyebrow. ;) They have some amazing colors my daughter is in love with. I like Dandelion Dance and Dragon Tears. In the picture below my daughter is wearing Tea Party for Two and Girls Rule! Piggy Paints get two very emphatic thumbs up from us!

Girls everywhere and some boys too, love to play with dolls. Just take a stroll down the doll aisle at WalMart and you will see what a big business it is…Barbies, Bratz, Cabbage Patch, dolls that swim , and dolls that eat…there are so many options. What most parents may not consider when walking down that aisle is that many of these dolls are toxic. They are often made of dangerous plastics that have PVC and/or Phthalates which can cause numerous health issues. They are often times not recyclable and for something with a short life span as far as quality goes, this is a sad thing. Add to that the fact that advertisements are convincing our girls that they have to have ALL these dolls you could end up with dozens of dolls that are neither safe or planet friendly. So how can we do better? There are many cloth options, organic options, and safer plastic options so there is something for everyone. Here are a few of the ones I discovered in my research.

But here are some questions to ask yourself. Is this doll made of unsafe plastics or vinyl? Can it be recycled or composted eventually? If it is made of cloth what type of fill is it stuffed with? Plastic or cloth based? Is this a quality doll that will last or one that may need to be discarded a year or two from now?

The first doll I want to highlight is probably one of the Cadillac dolls and the price reflects that. I am not sure I would spend over $100 on a doll but if you have the money then Bamboletta might be for you. She is pure and natural from head to toe with cotton interlock ’skin’ and clean, carded wool stuffing. She is handcrafted and inside the tummy of each are three crystals – quartz, fluorite and carnelian – placed there to help produce a calming and grounding effect upon children. Available for $135.00 CAD.

A much more affordable alternative would be the soft Ole doll by Haba. They are sooo cute and colorful I think I want one. Ole is the a boy doll with removable clothes for pretend play fun. He has beautiful blond/red hair and his facial features are very nicely stitched on. He has a padded body, chenille hair, cotton/polyester and velour clothes. He can be washed by hand and air dried. He also has some cute friends: Phil, Souri, Lukas, and my personal fave Lilli. You can see a picture of them at the top of this post. Available for $35-45.99.

Another good option is a Waldorf inspired doll like this Waldorf Fortune Fairy Flippippi and her friends. Waldorf dolls are all made of natural materials such as wool, cotton stockinet and quartz sand. Available for $85.99.

Planet Pixies are soft dolls as well. Kayla looks kind of like Tinkerbell with blondish-pink hair. My daughter would love her. Planet Pixies are made with all natural and organic cotton fabrics and packaged in 100% post consumer recycled packaging. They also have a great story to go with them  and in fact NEED your help as Pixies everywhere are losing their homes due to pollution, deforestation, and global warming. Check out Maya too. Planet Pixies are available for $24.99.

Up next is Jayden Earth Girl and Raji Earth Boy. They are the ultimate in heirloom quality rag dolls and each doll is lovingly handcrafted in the USA from the highest quality natural and recycled materials. Their thick hair is made from cotton. The skin is made from hemp. The soft stuffing is made from recycled plastic containers (although I would prefer cotton or wool). Each doll comes with a backpack, inside you will find a Hope Tree (Douglas Fir) for your child to plant. How fun! And they need to be hand washed an air dried. The Earth Kids are available for $68.00.

Oh and I LOVE this one… a Nursing Mama doll with Baby in Sling. How cute is that?! This adorable pair is handcrafted and made with 100% organic cotton throughout. The yarn and fabric are hand dyed using only eco-friendly dyes from flowers, roots, barks and berries. A nursling toddler would love to have this doll I am sure! Available for $75.

Another soft doll that is just adorable is the Corolle Babicorolle Sorbet Melodie. I have a pink hair thing I think. Yes, I have always wanted pink hair. Melodie is pretty in pink, soft, and a perfect gift because she comes in a shoe-box style package could then double as her bed. Available for $26.99.

A safer plastic option is the Keptin-Jr Organic Girly baby doll. The soft body is made with organic cotton and filled with pure wool, while the head, arms and legs are constructed of a phthalate free vinyl. Available for $50.

For small dolls that you can put in doll houses there are not plastic options like this Doll Family by Plan Toys. The family has solid wooden heads and soft wire bodies that can bend and flex into any position. With movable arms and legs, they come dressed in colorful clothes. The doll family includes father, mother and two children and they are made of natural, chemical free recycled rubberwood and finished with non-toxic water based dyes. There are also several ethic families too. The doll families are $18.99.

Magnetic dolls are a new favorite in our house. We have several Melissa and Doug sets of Magnetic dress up dolls including Nina Ballerina and Princess Elise. They are wooden dolls that can be dressed in magnetic clothes… shoes, hats, dresses, skirts, ect. They are a lot of fun. Woodkins are also very similar.

I hope this list gives you some options for safer and more natural dollies for your little ones!

Also make sure to check out my 2008 Green Christmas Gift Guide & my Top Ten Green and Natural Toys for Toddlers.

I am sure you have heard the buzz recently about over the counter medicines for kids. I have avoided them like the plague for several years but it seems more and more doctors, drug companies, and family groups are getting hip to this danger and they are urging the FDA to ban over the counter medicines for kids 4-6 and under…some groups want it to be 12 and under. My personal opinion is that these medications are just chemical cocktails that suppress symptoms or mask them. They have no healing values whatsoever. They “may” help to ease the symptoms of illness that make us uncomfortable but that does not outweigh the dangers in giving our kids nasty chemicals at a time when they are already weak and sick. I think these pharma medicines are just bad news and need to go away.

On the flip side there are numerous natural remedies that can help our little ones feel better when they are sick. I wrote about some of these here and here. I swear by Sambucol too.

Now there is a new option for parents…Sinupret Natural Sinus, Respiratory and Immune Support from Bionorica. It is a special blend of European Elder, Common Sorrel, Cowslip, European Vervain and Gentian that been used in European countries for decades and is just now becoming available to moms in the US. It has been the #1 most widely recommended, scientifically tested nasal and sinus support formula in Germany for children for more than 70 years. It provides sinus support and immune support as well. Incredibly they claim that there has never been one serious side effect reported from Sinupret for Kids and it’s efficacy is so well-documented that it is the most prescribed product by pediatricians in Europe. Our own Dr. Bob Sears recommends it and gives it to his own kids.

It is made with natural and safe ingredients, it has no stimulants, caffeine, ephedra or pseudoephedrine, and no history of dangerous side effects. It is recommended for children ages 2 and older and it is also available in adult strength as Sinupret Plus.

I recently got some of both to try but haven’t gotten to yet. I don’t think any of my kids have been sick in over a year. Perhaps this winter we will have the opportunity to check them out. I got the children’s formula and the adult formula in an adorable canvas, zippered bag that came with a coloring book and children’s binoculars. And thanks to the lovely people behind Sinupret I have some to give away! I have 10 super nice canvas bags with one sample size of Sinupret for Kids, one for adults, a coloring book and kids binoculars.

According to random.org the winners are:

10     84
57     53
12     31
38     92
6       39

Congrats!!!

I started early this year because we are doing a previously loved/used theme this year. I have some great garage sale stuff already waiting to be packaged up. BUT despite my resolve to buy mostly used or all if I can get away with it…I still like to check out the hot toy guides every year. I like to see the trends and find out what kids like and what parents are buying. I can’t wait to see Haba and Plan Toys go mainstream. Here is a cool toy guide I found that supposedly list the best toys. Going through it I can see that my Christmas goals will be harder on me than the kids. I just love to get them great stuff…I am more the problem than they are I think.

Under the best toys for boys category I see two really cool toys including the Playskool Kota My Triceratops Dinosaur. This thing is awesome and my boys would LOVE it…I hope they don’t see it cause it isn’t cheap. But how freakin cool is it? It is an animatronic, life-size baby dinosaur that stands over 3 feet tall and comes to “life” with realistic sounds and motion. Kids can even ride on it.

The second hot toy I see is a Wall-E remote control robot. If your kids love Wall-E they would love this. I may just have to save up my Amazon Gift Certificates and get this. I technically wouldn’t be spending money on it…

Under the best toys for girls category I see the Dream Town Rose Petal Cottage which is basically a doll house for little girls to go inside. What girl wouldn’t go nuts over it? Another cool toys is the solid wood dollhouse…for actual dolls not people. It is made by the eco friendly company Melissa and Doug and it looks like a very good quality dollhouse. This would last for a long time and it is a good thing because the price is hefty…but it is infinitely better than cheap plastic.

You see it is ME that goes nuts during the holidays…not the kids. We parents see all these amazing new things that never existed when we were kids and we think MY kids have gotta have em! Well, I guess admitting it is half the battle. There should be a support group cause this is tough. ;) Stepping away from the computer now…

Attn: Giveaway at the end of this post!

Thankfully I do not have children with any food allergies. But MANY children do. So many do in fact that more and more schools are making rules that no kids can bring nuts or nut products in their lunches. My daughter’s school is one of them. You know these allergy attacks from nuts must be pretty darn bad if a school is willing to go to that length.

It is tough for me to make lunches for my daughter with no nuts, especially since I like her to eat raw as much as she can and nuts are a good source of protein. It must also be tough for parents of kids who have food allergies and their relatives.

I came across a really cool product though for them…flashcards from Beyond A Peanut that are designed to educate individuals with peanut and tree nut allergies and those caring for them. The flashcards come on a big ring and they are designed beautifully with great pictures. The go into basics such as cross contamination, the importance of label reading, and emergency situations. They also have cards for many different food types with info about how to handle them. Lots of great advice for how to handle eating out as well.

These are awesome for teaching just about anyone all about food allergies…kids, parents, grandparents, teachers, daycare workers. They get a big thumbs up from me.

Because I do not have a need for these cards I want to pass them on to someone else who does. If you would like the cards just leave me a comment and I will choose a winner at random next week.

I have two boys so it is boo boo central around these parts. I am always seeing one of them with some new cut, bruise, or bug bite…especially my oldest son. But both my 8 year old and my 2 year equally love getting some boo boo balm applied to their “wounds”. We have been using two different brands of salve to save the day lately:

The Hero Stick by TruKid - This stick has an adorable name and it is great for making the “hurties” go away. And sorry if you are about to vomit with all the cutesy words, LOL. When my kids gets hurt they like to be babied. You just take the Hero Stick and rub it on the wounded area (bites, stings, cuts, crapes, burns, ect) and it immediately makes it feel better. I have been rubbing it on my own mosquito bites and I am liking the boo boo balm myself. It has natural ingredients…extra virgin olive oil, beeswax, comfrey, St. John’s wort, and Rosemary are a few. It is made with certified organic ingredients and it is paraben free. 100% pure and natural…good stuff. I really like the stick form because it is so easy to apply and doesn’t require you to get your fingers sticky.

The second product is the All-Natural Comfrey Salve from For My Kids. It treats the same type of wounds with organic, natural ingredients very similar to those above. It comes in a tin for easy application and smells wonderful. I have been applying it to dry skin and it works great for that too! This is a small mama run business to boot. We have put this one in our glove compartment so that we can just pocket it while going on walks and hikes in the nearby Metro Parks. If the kids get scraped by passing branches or get bitten by a bug we are ready.

If you are in the market for some boo boo balm these are some great contenders. And I swear you don’t have to call it “boo boo balm” if you don’t want to.

I recently interviewed Jane Nelsen, a parenting expert and author of many books about positive discipline. She is the author of the book I reviewed not long that gave me the idea for a Chill Out/positive time-out room. I loved all the reader feedback I got on that post. So I sat down to speak with Jane Nelsen and here are the transcripts of that conversation. If it reads like a conversation that is because it was. We talked about positive discipline, why punitive parenting and permissive parenting don’t work, why an understanding of normal child development is so important, and we even talk about some of my personal issues here including my mom. I walked away from this interview with even more respect for how knowledgeable she is. Enjoy!

Tiffany: I am here with Jane Nelsen of Positive Discipline for Preschoolers. Jane has also written several other books about Positive Discipline and positive parenting and in fact I just blogged recently about Positive Discipline for Preschoolers and received a lot of great reader feedback. So after that I wanted to interview Jane and ask her some questions. So Jane can you briefly tell us a bit about your background and how you same to be so knowledgeable about positive discipline?

Jane Nelsen: Well, first of all I have my before during and after children the ones that were raised before I learned about these concepts and the ones that were 3, 5 and 7 that I learned on and the two that came after. And I was just taking child relations and family development for my bachelor’s degree and I was struggling with my children and not knowing how to be a good parent and that is what I wanted to be more than anything else. I would be too permissive until I couldn’t stand to be with my kids and then I would be too controlling until I couldn’t stand myself. I would go back and forth and when I went into a class where they said we are not going to teach you a bunch of theories…but one theory and how to apply it in practical ways it really worked. It helped children learn self discipline, responsibility, cooperation, problem solving skills I thought oh that would be great. And this philosophy is too have respect for children and I still struggled though because I don’t think you ever have to teach anybody how to do punishment…we know how to do that, it comes second nature. We also know how to be permissive but to be both kind and firm at the same time and not react is a real challenge and I found the best way to keep me doing a better job was to teach parenting classes, so I started teaching classes and I kept learning more and more and thinking more until I finally ended up with a book after working with so many people and having so many successes of my own.

Tiffany: What is the basic concept behind positive discipline and how does it contrast with more conventional discipline methods that we are all used to?

Jane Nelson:Well first of all the most conventional methods are based on the behavioristic approach which is Skinner and punishment, and reward. And the thing that sustains us in these in my opinion is that they work…kids do respond to punishment, at least for the moment, it will stop the behavior right now. But what is the child thinking, feeling, deciding and doing to form their personality? Or a lot of them love rewards but that also teaches them external locus control where the adult has to be there to catch them when their “good” and reward and catch them when they are “bad” and punish. But what happens when the adult is not around? And so the first thing is that Positive Discipline is designed to help children develop this internal locus of control. In fact I would like to tell you about the five criteria for disciple that is effective.

Number one is that it is both kind and firm at the same time…or respectful. I was just talking to somebody yesterday that said “Sometimes you just want your kids to do it because you told them too.” You know because I am the mommy and I said so. But how would you respond to that if you had a boss, or a husband, or wife that wanted you to do things just because they said so….and they wanted you to do it now without asking any questions? So number one is respectful…kind and firm at the same time.

The second is that effective discipline tools address the basic need that children belong and feel significant. Punishment certainly does not make children feel wanted and significant; it makes them feel bad and inadequate and most kids will either become rebellious or approval junkies.

Three, every tool is designed to work long term not just short term. It may work in the moment but as I mentioned before what is the child thinking, feeling, deciding, and how is their personality forming? Effective discipline is designed for the long term.

Number 4 is that it is designed to teach children valuable social and life skills for good character. In other words you will see how many of them develop brain storming skills, problem solving skills, concern for others…it is really focusing on solutions and teaching them the last one…five which is teaching them that they are capable and they can use their power in useful ways. If you really look at punishments and rewards you can really see that those methods don’t meet any of these criteria.

Tiffany: Wow those are some great tips for effective discipline…it is very true that you don’t see those as the end result with the harsher and more punitive discipline methods. This is very true.

Jane Nelsen: Or with permissiveness. So many think that when we say no punishment that the only alternative is permissiveness and that it means to let children do whatever they want but that is certainly not healthy for children and it too does not meet any of those criteria. When we are permissive they don’t learn that they are capable and that they can contribute and that they can feel good about helping others and accomplishing things.

Tiffany: You draw on a lot of research and studies that perhaps most parents never get to see as they are buried in obscure medical journals…

Jane Nelson: Or University journals…there has been SO much research that shows that punishment doesn’t work and now there is research that shows that rewards don’t work…I would like to recommend a book if anyone wants to see those studies is Alfie Kohn’s book Punished by Rewards. It is a great book for analyzing the research and seeing the long term effects of punishments and rewards.

Tiffany: Thanks for the tip. I am familiar with Aflie Kohn although not that particular book. I will have to look into it. He does go into a lot of depth. What would you say though to parents that feel positive discipline can be equated to permissive parenting?

Jane Nelsen: Well, that they don’t know anything about it then. I know that is the tendency when you find people who really do not want to be disrespectful and they really do not want to be punitive… they have to learn the skills and the Positive Discipline books teach you hundreds of skills. They don’t just teach you what not to do they give you lots and lots of tools for what TO do. Do you have the book Positive Discipline from A to Z?

Tiffany: Yes, I have that book, yes I do.

Jane Nelsen: Well that one allows you to look up any subject like fighting or biting or temper tantrums or back talk and you get several suggestions for what to try and several suggestions for how to prevent the problem in the future. Parents have to look at how permissiveness does not meet any of those five criteria I mentioned. Permissiveness is kind but it is not firm and it’s not respectful because it teaches children that the world owes you a living and means taking care of me and wouldn’t you hate to be married to a person who thinks that way?

Tiffany: Ugh…yes.

Jane Nelsen: It might do many things but is does not teach children to believe in their own capabilities….that I am capable and that I can contribute and I have good life skills and character…permissiveness does not do that. It is a big mistake that a lot of parents make in the name of love.

Tiffany: On the other end of the spectrum…why is it so hard for parents to let go of harsh, punitive discipline methods? I personally think many moms feel bad about taking that tact but yet they can’t let go of it.

Jane Nelsen: I think that is so true, I don’t know of any hardly parents who believe in spanking who wouldn’t prefer not to if they knew what else would work. They just think that they have to control their child and that is a tool. And I do think it is just a lack of knowledge and that these parents don’t have any idea…they don’t think at that moment what is my child thinking and what are they deciding about themselves right now. Most don’t understand child development and it just breaks my heart to see 2 and 3 years olds being put in very punitive time outs where their brain is truly not developed enough to understand cause and effect. For example to teach parents their children do not understand and have the necessary responsibility and judgment I ask them if they teach their children and expect them not to run into the street and would you now be confident enough in that teaching you did to allow them to play in front of a busy street unsupervised? And of course they all say no and I say why not? If you spank them a hundred times would you then let them play by the street unsupervised? And again they say no because instinctually they know that the child does not have the judgment and yet they put them in time out at a time in their life according to child development’s Erik Erikson when they are developing a sense of doubt and shame or autonomy. So we’ve got all these children being put in time out when there are other things that would just be so much more effective. Like at that age (preschoolers) we just have to do a lot of supervision, and redirecting, and distracting, and teaching without expecting them to automatically change.

Tiffany: Great points and I love that example of the child running into the street because that seems to be the argument or scenario that parents who support spanking always throw out there. They ask, “If your kids run out into the street are you going to use kind words to get them to learn they can’t do that or are you going to scare them into submission with a spanking?” They use that scenario to show that spanking is supposedly necessary but your example highlights the flaw in that argument. If spanking worked then the lesson would be learned but yet they instinctually know the lesson was NOT learned…so why continue with that method of discipline?

Jane Nelsen: The other thing is letting go of this idea of control. I honestly believe that they do this because they live their children…they think this what they have got to do to get their children to behave well but they are not teaching them skills and I want to give you a real quick example of an activity I do in my lectures when I have 3 volunteers and I tell them okay one of you will be the telling parent, and one will be the asking parent and one will be the child. Then the child goes to the telling parent who says “Go brush your teeth.” And then they go to the asking parent who says “What do you need to do to get your teeth squeaky clean?”

They go back to the telling parent who says “Go to bed”. The asking parent says “What is on your routine chart that shows you the things you need to go to bed?” And then back and forth when one will say “Go get your coat” the other says “What do you need to take with you to make sure you don’t get cold?” And then ask the person playing the child what they are thinking, feeling, and deciding when they go to the controlling parent who is telling what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. They feel resistant, they feel rebellious, and they want to tune them out. But when they go to the asking parent they feel empowered…they think hey I can do that, I can think of that, it is so much more inviting to cooperation. The asking parent is teaching them responsibility instead of just making them accept responsibility and parents that are controlling are the ones “taking” the responsibility and then they wonder why their children don’t “learn” responsibility.

Tiffany: Oh yes! Exactly you can’t take charge and make their decisions for them and expect them to magically learn the underlying concept themselves. Would you say that prevention and planning to avoid issues is a big part of positive discipline? I personally do but I have family members who love to tell me that setting my kids up for success is somehow gaming the system and not teaching them how to cope with failures. But I am very big on preventing problems and not setting them up to fail. What do you think?

Jane Nelsen: Oh yes…that is why in Positive Discipline from A to Z there is a lot of info on how to avoid these problems. And I do think that planning is a very good idea. For one thing if you have a behavior problem and you only have it once…that is not a problem. If you have a pattern of behavior then you need to look at what you’re doing to help create it and then look at what you can do to prevent it by having a plan…I think that is an excellent idea. However, when children do make mistakes I think it is important to let them experience the consequences of their choices most times. With empathy and validation of their feelings but then let them find out that they can survive and work through it. It develops resiliency when they find out they can handle it. Do you have an example of what you would do to prevent something?

Tiffany: Well, uhm…sure. In my house I don’t really have a lot of personal items or treasures low to the ground where kids can get to them and break them. I take the preventative measure of putting them away so we won’t have the strife of them choosing to touch and then accidentally breaking and then me being upset. But my mom feels that this is wrong of me to do. She has the opposite stance that I should have all of things within their line of vision or easily accessible and then take on the task of controlling my kids and making them not touch these things to teach them I guess that they can’t touch other people’s stuff. And I disagree with that…A LOT.

Jane Nelsen: I totally disagree with that too. You see this is someone, bless your mother, who does not understand child development. This is why children grow up with so much guilt, and doubt, and shame. Why we all feel we are not good enough because of this old belief that children are supposed to be able to control themselves. And that would be such a hassle to feel as though you have to sit and control everything they do.

Tiffany: I agree! LOL.

Jane Nelsen: According to normal child development they cannot control themselves…they don’t have the emotional maturity or judgment to be able to control themselves so to me having to walk around and say don’t touch that, don’t touch that just creates doubt and shame and that is sad. So good for you!

Tiffany: Well, thanks. :) I know you work with a lot of parents so what are the issues that parents struggle with the most do you think?

Jane Nelsen: One that is so prevalent is the comment that “My children don’t listen”. And I always want to say to them, “Well. You talk too much”. They learn to tune you out and it is one way to protect themselves because many parents lecture, lecture, lecture, control, control, control…way too much. I often have these wind up chattering teeth that I hold up during my lectures to show them what I am talking about. It just shows that that we just don’t listen enough to our kids and so they don’t learn to listen. I also hear that they don’t like it when their children talk back. And I tell them about an article I have called Don’t Back Talk Back because that is exactly what parents do…they say “Don’t talk to ME like that young lady” And here they are doing the exact thing they don’t want their kids to do.

Tiffany: This is one of my biggest failings that I get sucked into that same pattern with my oldest son. I really have to watch myself. He likes to talk back and then we get into a big back and forth and I have to take a step back and say “Whoa, hold on…I am doing exactly what I told him not to do. I am trying to teach him NOT to do something by demonstrating and modeling for him I how I do it too.”

Jane Nelsen: We really do need to understand then when we are in reaction mode we need to step back and see that we want children to control their behavior but we don’t control our own. Sometimes when a child is talking back it is okay to say “Wow, I can see they you are upset right now. I know we love each other so let’s talk about this later.” And then the parent can decide what they are going to do and do it with dignity and respect. If your child is whining for example, they aren’t able to hear how that sounds, so just say “I love you and I want to talk to you but you need to come find me when you can use your words.” And then leave. You can’t teach a child at times when they are upset and that goes into another important aspect of Positive Discipline…connection. Connection before correction. You really need to create that feeling of connection, belonging, and significance so that you are speaking to the rational brain and not the brain in a fight or flight state. Too many parents try to teach in that fight or flight stage when everyone is upset. That is why positive time out is a good idea. After they are around 3-4 you can teach them to create a special place where they can self soothe….an area in the house that you can fix up to help them feel better, maybe with cushions and teach them that when they are upset they can go to their feel good place, their happy place…my grand-daughter calls her sparkles. When they are upset ask them to go to their feel good place and if they say no then tell them “Well, I think I will go to mine.” And you’ve then modeled going to your own as you say I love you and I will talk to you later.

Tiffany: This was actually one of the things I discussed on my blog when I was talking about your book Positive Discipline for Preschoolers….I mentioned a story you had in there about a teacher who created and Antarctica Room with fluffy pillows and stuffed animals, where the kids would go if they needed to cool off or just whenever they felt they needed to and I got so many wonderful responses that this idea was just wonderful. I thought so too, which is why I posted about. It is such a fun, unique way to teach children how to self soothe as you said.

Jane Nelsen: Well, we need to remember the criteria that healthy children feel capable and teaching them to self soothe is a great life skill… that they can wait until they calm down so they don’t react. Another issue goes that to preventing things like the parents who struggle with bed times and waking up…if they would take the time to get their children involved from the time they are about two and a half and helping them to create a bedtime and morning routine and parents should not do this for them and they should not have rewards. You could make a chart with all the things they have to do…bath, brushing teeth, picking out clothes to wear tomorrow, bed time, etc. and take pictures of them doing these activities with your digital camera and have them paste these pictures under each task on their routine chart. The children helped to create it, they see pictures of themselves doing it, and instead of saying “go brush your teeth” ask them what is next on their routine chart. It helps them feel capable and empowered.

I also used to teach logical consequences but I don’t anymore; and the reason for that is that parents often try to disguise punishment by calling it logical consequences. Instead focus on solutions. If your kids aren’t old enough to grasp solutions then they are definitely not old enough to understand punishment. So at 3-4 years old start asking them for help in finding solutions and start having family meetings…when you have a problem you put it on the agenda which allows for a cooling off time and then you brainstorm for solutions that are respectful to everybody and you teach them all kinds of life skills. That is one of my favorite tips…family meetings.

Tiffany: And I am loving these tips. I love the idea of family meetings. Thanks for taking the time to meet with me and answer some questions. I appreciate it greatly.

******************************

Jane has MANY books published on this topic but these are the books I have that I recommend:

Positive Discipline

Positive Discipline A-Z: 1001 Solutions to Everyday Parenting Problems

Positive Discipline for Preschoolers: For Their Early Years–Raising Children Who are Responsible, Respectful, and Resourceful

Jane also has a web site at www.positivediscipline.com

My daughter recently fell in love with a new eco product for kids from Earthwise Kids. They offer eco themed books and organic tees in cool packages that include jute carrying bags. The basic idea is to read them the inspirational stories about wildlife, oceans, and land and how kids step up to take care of them by being “earthwise” kids.

The books in the series are: Protect the Ocean, Save the Wildlife, and Protect the Land. The stories are about children, polar bears, sea turtles, and other wild creatures that are implore us to clean up their homes and better the planet. The children step up to the bat and try to make a difference. They are fast reads and seem to me more of a talking point for parents and children. I know I asked my daughter if she wanted to be an Earthwise Kid and what it would mean to be one. I think it helps them to see that even at young ages they really are empowered to create change.

The t-shirts are also pretty cool. The images match the books and provide an outward symbol for being earthwise…almost like being a planetary superhero. The jute carrying case is cute too. The books are also printed on recycled paper with soy based inks.

In our home they did what they were intended to do. They inspired a younger generation to recognize and want to act on the principles of environmental protection. My daughter’s favorite book and tee are the ocean ones. She LOVES the ocean. She also liked the book on protecting land and trees and kept interrupting to tell me all the reasons why we need lots of trees on the planet…more than were covered in the book even. I think we will re-read them in the spring just before earth day and then participate in a community clean-up.

Kudo to Earthwise Kids for a great eco product!