Comments on: Time-In to Chill Out http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/ A blog for natural families with green values Sat, 20 Mar 2010 11:39:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Sharon http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/comment-page-1/#comment-70037 Sharon Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:07:49 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1466#comment-70037 Such an eloquent post and I agree completely. So many problems we see today are a result of kids having extremely low self esteem that has nothing to do with parental praise. It has everything to do with recognizing the strengths and capabilities of each child and showing that child the respect you expect them to show to you and others, accordingly. If we can achieve that there is no need to force "unnatural" behaviors on children. They should as a matter of good upbringing, be respectful, caring and cooperative people. Such an eloquent post and I agree completely. So many problems we see today are a result of kids having extremely low self esteem that has nothing to do with parental praise. It has everything to do with recognizing the strengths and capabilities of each child and showing that child the respect you expect them to show to you and others, accordingly.

If we can achieve that there is no need to force “unnatural” behaviors on children. They should as a matter of good upbringing, be respectful, caring and cooperative people.

]]> By: Christine http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/comment-page-1/#comment-69392 Christine Thu, 18 Sep 2008 08:50:09 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1466#comment-69392 With 7 kids to take care of, I do agree indeed that sometimes disciplining the whole lot of them could be extremely daunting. Also, kids dislike being punished using traditional methods, especially so if these amount to things that kids do not understand, and so equate "disciplining" to "doing something bad" to "getting caught". Kids could do bad things without getting caught and not getting disciplined - all important lessons are kinda lost in translation by that too. I could say that I have a more traditional view with sharing, but I also think that sometimes, kids get shortchanged whenever they face situations that "mandates" them to share or be accommodating to other people. Likewise, I really like the idea of giving them timeouts that wouldn't make the child feel really bad about what he did, and so not learn why he is being put there. But I do wonder if this would instead make the kid want to become even more of a challenge - that if he did something bad, he gets to be in this cool, wonderful place. Haha! But we could all try to modify the Antarctica zone can we? It's what we moms are always good at! With 7 kids to take care of, I do agree indeed that sometimes disciplining the whole lot of them could be extremely daunting. Also, kids dislike being punished using traditional methods, especially so if these amount to things that kids do not understand, and so equate “disciplining” to “doing something bad” to “getting caught”. Kids could do bad things without getting caught and not getting disciplined – all important lessons are kinda lost in translation by that too.

I could say that I have a more traditional view with sharing, but I also think that sometimes, kids get shortchanged whenever they face situations that “mandates” them to share or be accommodating to other people. Likewise, I really like the idea of giving them timeouts that wouldn’t make the child feel really bad about what he did, and so not learn why he is being put there. But I do wonder if this would instead make the kid want to become even more of a challenge – that if he did something bad, he gets to be in this cool, wonderful place. Haha! But we could all try to modify the Antarctica zone can we? It’s what we moms are always good at!

]]> By: Sara http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/comment-page-1/#comment-69352 Sara Thu, 18 Sep 2008 01:30:14 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1466#comment-69352 Interesting post, it sure does give us a lot to think about. I would venture to say most of us are parenting without much good example from our own parents, so this is difficult to learn. I hope my children will walk away as adults knowing I loved them, and did the best I could, and then improve on that with their children Interesting post, it sure does give us a lot to think about. I would venture to say most of us are parenting without much good example from our own parents, so this is difficult to learn. I hope my children will walk away as adults knowing I loved them, and did the best I could, and then improve on that with their children

]]> By: Mindy http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/comment-page-1/#comment-69295 Mindy Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:15:38 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1466#comment-69295 Great post! Featured and Stumbled! Great post! Featured and Stumbled!

]]> By: Eileen http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/comment-page-1/#comment-69155 Eileen Tue, 16 Sep 2008 12:47:52 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1466#comment-69155 Yet another wonderful blog. I LOVE the idea of having an in-house Antarctica and plan to start setting ours up today. My kids definitely understand the idea of needing cooling off and will love having a special place to do it. Also, although I have taught sharing up to now, I much prefer your idea of teaching cooperation. You're so right---I don't HAVE to share my stuff and my kids shouldn't have to share theirs either. Thanks for "sharing" your insights on time-in and sharing. Yet another wonderful blog. I LOVE the idea of having an in-house Antarctica and plan to start setting ours up today. My kids definitely understand the idea of needing cooling off and will love having a special place to do it.

Also, although I have taught sharing up to now, I much prefer your idea of teaching cooperation. You’re so right—I don’t HAVE to share my stuff and my kids shouldn’t have to share theirs either.

Thanks for “sharing” your insights on time-in and sharing.

]]> By: Gee http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/comment-page-1/#comment-69024 Gee Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:11:44 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1466#comment-69024 I love this idea. We have a corner with an armchair where my babygirl and I go to sit whenever either of us needs to calm down a bit. It doesn't have a theme and you have given me inspiration to think of one - since in my language 'cooling off' doesn't have the same connotation as in English, I will have to think of something other than Antarctica, but that's a sweet challenge. I like the continuity between your posts and I still keep thinking about your previous article. Thanks for taking the time for all the follow-up explanations. I love this idea. We have a corner with an armchair where my babygirl and I go to sit whenever either of us needs to calm down a bit. It doesn’t have a theme and you have given me inspiration to think of one – since in my language ‘cooling off’ doesn’t have the same connotation as in English, I will have to think of something other than Antarctica, but that’s a sweet challenge.

I like the continuity between your posts and I still keep thinking about your previous article. Thanks for taking the time for all the follow-up explanations.

]]> By: Rene http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/comment-page-1/#comment-68996 Rene Mon, 15 Sep 2008 03:00:52 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1466#comment-68996 Thanks so much for this post. I'm definitely getting this book. I'm at my wits end with my 3.5 year old. Time-outs and consequences worked like a charm for my oldest son, but he's a natural born people pleaser. My 3.5 yr. old is definitely not. They will both grow up to have their individual strengths (and weaknesses) as we all do. But boy is he a challenge. I'm thinking the time-in route might be a better way to go. It's worth a try for sure! Thanks so much for this post. I’m definitely getting this book. I’m at my wits end with my 3.5 year old. Time-outs and consequences worked like a charm for my oldest son, but he’s a natural born people pleaser. My 3.5 yr. old is definitely not. They will both grow up to have their individual strengths (and weaknesses) as we all do. But boy is he a challenge. I’m thinking the time-in route might be a better way to go. It’s worth a try for sure!

]]> By: Tiffany http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/comment-page-1/#comment-68956 Tiffany Sun, 14 Sep 2008 14:04:11 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1466#comment-68956 Rebecca, thanks for sharing that story. It really does demonstrate how the sharing mandate can easily lead to our children being a doormat for other people. I don't believe in forcing a child's apology either. Rebecca, thanks for sharing that story. It really does demonstrate how the sharing mandate can easily lead to our children being a doormat for other people.

I don’t believe in forcing a child’s apology either.

]]> By: Tiffany http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/comment-page-1/#comment-68955 Tiffany Sun, 14 Sep 2008 13:58:31 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1466#comment-68955 Sommer I have the book...never read it. LOL. Too many books not enough time. Sommer I have the book…never read it. LOL. Too many books not enough time.

]]> By: Sommer-Green and Clean Mom http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/09/12/time-in-to-chill-out/comment-page-1/#comment-68948 Sommer-Green and Clean Mom Sun, 14 Sep 2008 11:52:05 +0000 http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/?p=1466#comment-68948 Tiffany, I get what you're saying. Have you read Love and Logic or checked it out on line? The idea is natural consequences. Tiffany,
I get what you’re saying. Have you read Love and Logic or checked it out on line? The idea is natural consequences.

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